it’s a bird, it’s a plane… it’s domino’s 5 unconventional uses for drones

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The use of drones over US skies has been all over the news of late. The possibility of our skies being filled with unmanned aircraft is suddenly a very real one, and with policies on drones quickly changing, how long can it really be before they are approved for corporate, or even personal use?

The possible applications are seemingly unlimited. The ability to fill the US airspace with machines that can be controlled remotely to do your bidding could legitimately revolutionize numerous aspects of life as you know it.

5 Police Regulation

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It’s possible that maybe the police would be a little more discretionary with their occasional power-trips and overly-generous beatings if they knew there were constantly cameras flying all over the skies above them. Probably not, because they really seem to enjoy handing out an unjustified whooping regardless of the circumstances, but just maybe”¦

4 Animal Discipline

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Are you sick of your neighbor’s dog that barks incessantly into the wee hours of the morning? Or how about the overly amorous cat that comes into your yard and sexually violates your sweet little beagle? Or maybe you just don’t like the smug look that poodle down the street gives you when you finally work up the motivation to go “œjogging”once a month. Well now, with your very own drone, you can fly over the barking dog’s house emitting a sonic whistle that will shut him the hell up, you can dump a cold bucket of water on that super-horny cat, and you can give that fluffy, self-satisfied poodle a drive-by haircut.

3 Pranks

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Let’s be honest, the only real downside to messing with people you can’t stand is having to get up off the couch. But what if there was a way you could ring their doorbell and run away without ever leaving the house? Or deliver a well-deserved flaming bag of poo to their doorstep? Or drop a few dead fish into the open moon-roof of their Lexus that they seem to think makes them so much better than you? Suddenly, the ability to relentlessly torture your enemies becomes infinite if a robot plane does all the dirty work.

2 “œChecking In”

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Some people call the effort to keep tabs on your current or former love interests “œstalking,”but that seems like a harsh term, doesn’t it? After all, checking in on a Facebook profile from time to time (or a few times an hour) hardly constitutes actual stalking. Flying an unmanned aircraft around their residence and/or workplace several times a day, however, now that’s worthy of being called stalking. Unfortunately, one of the very real results of personal-use drones could be the sky over your house suddenly being chock full of airborne creepers. Sorry.

1 Food Delivery

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Americans aren’t exactly in desperate need of a faster or simpler way to get food delivered to our faces, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have one. In fact, a UK Domino’s has already tested what they’re calling the “œDomiCopter,”an unmanned helicopter capable of carrying and dropping off pizzas at their desired locations. This airborne method could completely eliminate the issues of automobile traffic or accidents in food delivery, though it could also encourage industrious but underfunded customers to search for an opportunity to shoot a free dinner out of the sky.

TK Kelly is a comic and writer who has performed at clubs across the country like the Comedy Store, the Improv, Gotham, and Standup NY. He has also written for Tosh.0, Comedy Central Studios, Funny or Die, Recycled Babies Sketch Comedy, and Second City. His standup comedy has been described as “a thing that happens sometimes,” and according to one of his grandmothers, he is a generally delightful young man. If he were forced at gunpoint to describe himself in one word, that would be a really weird hostage situation.

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